MY LAST SIXTY HOURS'

So, having seen the urologist on Tuesday, I did agree to having a urethral catheter.... but was very anxious about it.
It seems/ seemed , to me that a supra pubic catheter is a medical intervention, but having one through the urethra diminishes my femininity.
Anyway the Di was cast ! BUT I said I do not expect the district nurses to arrive unannounced. I've had this experience and wanted to guard against it .
SOOOOO.........
What happened ? On Wed morn ,as I was enjoying my shower, who arrived? Yes, the District nurses.
 I was upset and angry.
 I became even more upset and very angry when they wanted to talk to me through the door whilst I showered.
I then became hysterical and shouted, "I'm a person not a piece of meat".... when they persisted in trying to engage me in conversation.
They waited. They apologised for just  arriving, but said they didn't get that message.
I asked them to sit whilst we talked.
 They didn't.
Now, any one in a wheelchair recognises how dis-empowering it is to talk to people who tower above you.........
Normally I cope , but on this occasion my temper and general anxiety was rising.
So into the bedroom we go. Curtains drawn and light (with low energy bulb) put on.(ie not very good light.) They lift my legs on to bed and said to open them up and move them to the side. I said you will need to position them.... they seemed slightly mystified !
So legs in correct position, they said its not very bright.
AND .You so will laugh at this.........
I said the reading light is bright...
 ah said the nurse, there's a torch here ! 

SO, Am I one of the few people to have a catheter inserted by torch light !!!!

They gave me a run down on attaching bags etc.... and, I am bright , but when you are in quite a state of shock you cant be sure if you have taken detail in.

The rest of the day I spent anxiously as I seemed to be sitting on the tube. A carer arrived and said there should be a thigh band.
I rang district nurses. Yes they had one. It would be behind reception at Mytholmroyd medical centre, but centre would be closing for training ( in  Courtesy I ask myself!!) . I had to get there in the next hour.

I rang a friend who, was waiting in for gas man, but none-the-less collected thigh band. Felt more secure.

The first night of sleeping with this thing coincided with a new night-time carer. Now these people have been of variable quality and the three regulars I now have are brill, but a new person??? Anxious !!!!

Anyway Janice arrived and was a world expert on catheters and helped me de-stress and made sure I was comfy.
Even so I woke every hour or so.

Morning carer arrived and all went well.

Last night all fine.I slept.

BUT This morning..... I woke as I was getting texts and heard the beeps. ( The night person leaves at 7:00 and the breakfast person comes between 8:30 and 9:00) ,
I noted the time. 9:20.
I read the texts . Cleaner would not be able to get up.... snow.......... phone call,breakfast  carer not able to get up...snow.
I looked at the bag..... full.

I knew I had to get out of bed and disconnect and get to bathroom to empty.

HOW. What would happen if I stayed there... would it back up? Would my bladder explode !!!!

So, somehow, and I can only put it down to sheer bloody strength of mind and the  fear of remaining where I was ......... I did get off the bed, I did disengage the bag. I did get to bathroom.

I shook. I shook. I shook.

The phone rang, carers would try to get up to me asap. Was I OK? or should they use search and rescue team who have 4X4...( Just think I could have been on one of those rescue programmes the BBC like to put on!!....imagine !!!!!)

Anyway ,eventually, a brave physio man drove carer up. I was made tea and he even went to post office and bought me a packet of cigarettes . (I know after pneumonia, and not smoking for 15 days , you would think I'd know better!.. But sod it !!)

Julie dressed me. I put heating way up and at 11:40 finally had some breakfast..... Wheetos, my grandchilrens favourite !

Today had been full of text conversations.
Carers did get here at tea-time and have assured me a 4X4 is organised for tomorrow. So that is fine.

However, will my carer arrive to sleep tonight?
Who knows.......
Plan B , if she doesn't is that I will sleep in wheelchair........... well I'll be safe.......  I cant get into bed without help........... so that's that !. my last 60hrs.

I wonder what the next day will bring?? Hugs I hope.

HUG ME, I'VE GOT MND