FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF.....A RANT!!!!

Is it the B cold that is making me feel so low? Is it the lack of sleep?  Is it straight depression? Is it simply MND?

Don't Know,.............. re any of the above...........




I've spent the last four.or is it five? , nights waking frequently....
It's then I think about my life, as I perceive  it is, ............... at the moment.

Today, I had to go a cushion assessment for wheelchair... for two pence I would have cancelled. Believe me it takes such effort to simply shower and dress, let alone get in car and drive to Hx.... even though my friend Barry was able to accompany me , (Thankyou)..........

So tremendous effort required... BUT, I did it...............

But should I simply do what I want to do ? Or what I feel safe doing ? ie stay at home and perhaps  paint... ?

I know I could just stay in, get on-line everything... but this isn't living.. is it  ? It isnt making the effort, being 100%+ strong.. as I feel I must be, ie if I am to continue to be me.

I have so many friends who understand, who visit, who keep in contact via phone or Facebook..Thankyou, you know who who you are.


....I will decline... and though  I shall fight this (providing no more colds!!), it takes effort, such effort...

 but Carpe Diem


HUG ME, I'VE GOT MND

MND MARCHES ON.....

A bit serious this post. My arms are getting weaker.. Lifting becomes more and more difficult.

I got a call from Overgate Hospice today, offering me a day care place. More when I feel I can write about this. Its another step on the way for me. Quite an emotional step.



I am friends, (via MNDA and Facebook), with Alistair The Optimist.. he has been a public face for MNDA recently. He is (was), a teacher, father and musician. 

Three months ago he went into hosp to have a PEG fitted. 
The PEG is a tube to feed you, directly into your stomach. 
All of us with MND, will eventually end up with one. Well I guess, unless you refuse, but it does seem to me that a feeding tube is a small price to pay for a little more life... and the NHS even  pay for your "food" !!!!!

Earlier this week Alistair wrote, " A year ago, I was strumming my guitar... Now my arms don't move.."

This made me realise the road I'm on, and to feel so sad for us all. 

MND has an inexorable march forwards,, there is no stopping it, there is no way you can tell how quickly  it will move.....  It is hard to live with all this.

Alistair's music can be seen on You Tube. I thought it appropriate to share a track with you all.

Enjoy,.............. but think of all of us with MND...............we are really trying our very best to keep strong and positive.

HUG ME, I'VE GOT MND