I had a home visit from my psychiatrist today. He completely understood why I can't see him at the medical centre until I get an appropriate wheel chair. (see para after this re wheelchair.) The design of the splendid new Centre in Todmorden is so daft, and inaccessible for people who have difficulty walking. There is a choice of ramp or steps... But the ramp is quite steep and long as it has to rise to quite a height. It therefore would take two people to push me up to the entrance. It is likely that I might be able to find two friends who would be willing to do this.... However, why should I? It's simply not right that I inconvenience people in this way.
..... Anyway, I have been feeling as though I am looking down on myself and watching all that is happening to me. It such a strange disorientating feeling, and makes me feel so unreal. I'm watching a video of myself.. and yet I'm here.... As I thought , and he confirmed, this feeling happens when people are in extreme stress , it's a coping mechanism. It doesn't make it right, or make it better, but it's good to have an explanation for this horrid, weird feeling.
He suggested that I might need some respite, and I agree. The few days I had in hospital were such a break. I felt safe, and anxieties dropped away for a while. food came without the battle in the kitchen , I could shower safely, support was there... I could easily have become institutionalized!
Anyway I have decided to talk to a GP re a referral to Overgate Hospice. Even if I just spend the odd day there,I will have a meal, enjoy company and be able to have a safe bath... it is so long since I was immersed in water. I wouldn't wish this every day, but it would be such a treat every so often.
The other advantage of the Hospice, is that I think that is where I wish to die.. I need to be secure in wherever the place is. From what I have heard people are so caring, and the atmosphere is positive, even though all people are terminally ill. The other major factor is, that, I understand that families are supported as a whole. It is important to me that my girls and their husbands are supported when I die. This could be the right place for me to spend my last days.
.....................................Wheelchair ,update... (adding to stress). Next Friday will be 6 weeks from when I was given the training for the outdoor/indoor wheelchair. I was told I would get it in 4 to 6 weeks. I thought I would ring today to see what was what. What I did find was that it actually wasn't ordered till 2 1/2 weeks after the assessment! This is to do with budgets!!! So now I have extra time to wait..... more stress..
........................................And yet more stress.. the money being released from the sale of my house, which I will have upfront to get the adaptations done on the bungalow... well the relevant people (from sheffield, don't ask!!!) sent a form to fill in... no problem. BUT I have to send in my house insurance. This is fine , but they expect it to be for 200K, the sale price, yet a rebuild price is only about 150K, so now I have to adjust insurance.... another stress... I need a secretary!!!!!
Tomorrow I go to Sheffield to see Prof Shaw, to get the results of the tests .
Watch this space..
but maybe no news tomorrow as the trip to Sheffield is exhausting, so I doubt that I will Blog tomorrow night.
HUG ME, I'VE GOT MND
Showing posts with label access. Show all posts
Showing posts with label access. Show all posts
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
Monday, 30 April 2012
IN A WHEELCHAIR FOR LUCIAN FREUD
At last I have time to write about the adventures of last Thursday.
Last Thursday I went to London to see the Lucian Freud exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery. Lucian Freud with Francis Bacon and Auerbach, are my top three artists, so it was such a privilege to be able see this Exhibition. The exhibition will be in London, then goes to Washington DC. After that all the pictures will go back to their owners and probably won't ever be seen together again..... well certainly not for many many years. The texture, strength with such delicacy, of the images is stunning, overwhelming... do have a look on-line or do go if you get a chance.
For people with disability, your carer gets in free and there is a wheelchair loan system. The number to arrange this is on-line. The National Portrait Gallery has lifts to all floors, but they are not through lifts... you have to go up one, across a room up two etc.... but it's an old building so therefore acceptable. The restaurant serves good food, expensive, but the down-side is that it is very noisy.... so much for the gallery.
The fun started for me at 8:10, we were given a taxi from Tod to Hebden as the train is not accessible from Tod for disabled persons as there are steps.... The taxi which was provided had no ramps and the steps were high and narrow. So my journey started by being shoved up into the taxi ,and helped out of Taxi by the driver and a kind man at the station. Everything went well from then on as regards the trains.. people helped me on and off with ramps.... BUT I found that I couldn't get out of the train seat! Thankyou to all the members oif the public who came to my aid.
So arrival at London.... get in Taxi and found I could only get out with extreme difficulty. We then arrived at the gallery, or thought we did... We asked which floor the Lucian Freud was on, only to be told that we were in the National Gallery (In a very snooty manner!)... well the buildings do adjoin!!. So off to the correct gallery, and lunch.
The pictures were wonderful.
Back to the train, by this time my bottom was aching , having been in the chair all day, and I was tired. Then we arrived at Kings Cross in Taxi. Fare £13, I planned to give the driver £15, and had £20 note in my hand. Trying to get out I was so weak I ended up flat on my back!!!! I was so thrilled that the Taxi driver ( from Walthamstow, daughter in Welwyn Gdn City), just picked me up. I gave him the whole £20. He then gave me back £5 saying it was not problem, and to take care...... how kind was that. London Cabbies are amazing, helpful, kind. Bless then all. .. they were without exception amazingly helpful.
So train to Leeds... it was late into Leeds, so we were given a taxi all the way home to Tod...YEY!!!
What a day!!! Many thanks to Christine Chapman for sharing it with me and being so helpful and supportive.
As for my reflections on the day. I feel that I would like to do a next trip alone, in an electric wheelchair... When you are with a "carer" people dis you, and only talk to the carer (. " Does he take Sugar"!!!!!!) This was not in any way Christines fault or the people who are paid to help... but more the general public. So I'm sure I would be ok on my own...
.... So the next adventure is...... Watch This Space!!!!!
HUG ME, I'VE GOT MND
Last Thursday I went to London to see the Lucian Freud exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery. Lucian Freud with Francis Bacon and Auerbach, are my top three artists, so it was such a privilege to be able see this Exhibition. The exhibition will be in London, then goes to Washington DC. After that all the pictures will go back to their owners and probably won't ever be seen together again..... well certainly not for many many years. The texture, strength with such delicacy, of the images is stunning, overwhelming... do have a look on-line or do go if you get a chance.
For people with disability, your carer gets in free and there is a wheelchair loan system. The number to arrange this is on-line. The National Portrait Gallery has lifts to all floors, but they are not through lifts... you have to go up one, across a room up two etc.... but it's an old building so therefore acceptable. The restaurant serves good food, expensive, but the down-side is that it is very noisy.... so much for the gallery.
The fun started for me at 8:10, we were given a taxi from Tod to Hebden as the train is not accessible from Tod for disabled persons as there are steps.... The taxi which was provided had no ramps and the steps were high and narrow. So my journey started by being shoved up into the taxi ,and helped out of Taxi by the driver and a kind man at the station. Everything went well from then on as regards the trains.. people helped me on and off with ramps.... BUT I found that I couldn't get out of the train seat! Thankyou to all the members oif the public who came to my aid.
So arrival at London.... get in Taxi and found I could only get out with extreme difficulty. We then arrived at the gallery, or thought we did... We asked which floor the Lucian Freud was on, only to be told that we were in the National Gallery (In a very snooty manner!)... well the buildings do adjoin!!. So off to the correct gallery, and lunch.
The pictures were wonderful.
Back to the train, by this time my bottom was aching , having been in the chair all day, and I was tired. Then we arrived at Kings Cross in Taxi. Fare £13, I planned to give the driver £15, and had £20 note in my hand. Trying to get out I was so weak I ended up flat on my back!!!! I was so thrilled that the Taxi driver ( from Walthamstow, daughter in Welwyn Gdn City), just picked me up. I gave him the whole £20. He then gave me back £5 saying it was not problem, and to take care...... how kind was that. London Cabbies are amazing, helpful, kind. Bless then all. .. they were without exception amazingly helpful.
So train to Leeds... it was late into Leeds, so we were given a taxi all the way home to Tod...YEY!!!
What a day!!! Many thanks to Christine Chapman for sharing it with me and being so helpful and supportive.
As for my reflections on the day. I feel that I would like to do a next trip alone, in an electric wheelchair... When you are with a "carer" people dis you, and only talk to the carer (. " Does he take Sugar"!!!!!!) This was not in any way Christines fault or the people who are paid to help... but more the general public. So I'm sure I would be ok on my own...
.... So the next adventure is...... Watch This Space!!!!!
HUG ME, I'VE GOT MND
Sunday, 22 April 2012
THE COVEN
There are four of us... but we call ourselves the Coven.. like Macbeths witches... but four not three... all of us are single and have various reasons and patterns for coming together... we have all ended up as great supportive friends.Every two months or so we meet up for a meal. It was Marias turn... but her home has so many steps and no downstairs loo ..... I am not able to go there,,, so Liz hosted but Maria cooked, (well Jack, her son, cooked most of the meal ,and they kindly walked it down to Lizs home. Liz has loo downstairs and flat access.
It was a lovely evening, good food , lots of bubbles and a Taxi ,,,,,,so no problems of a driver! Yey!!!
What else did I do today? Well I slept till 10:15 when the phone rang. I chose not to answer it, and snoozed for another hour. I then did some painting, on and off all day. Don't think it's a great work, but very cathartic to just apply paint and the brilliant colours,
I'm now catching up on The Voice... How disappointing for half of the people concerned, they will be wiped out either tonight or tomorrow........... how difficult is that?!!
But life is tough! I know how tough it is for me , but I hear of so many people who have difficult times... I feel that when any person has a problem it's 100% their problem.... there aren't gradations of problems . If you have an issue in your life it takes over everything.
The kind way is to recognise this and respect it.
To everyone who has a worry, a problem, I send you Hugs.... we all need them.
HUG ME, I'VE GOT MND
It was a lovely evening, good food , lots of bubbles and a Taxi ,,,,,,so no problems of a driver! Yey!!!
What else did I do today? Well I slept till 10:15 when the phone rang. I chose not to answer it, and snoozed for another hour. I then did some painting, on and off all day. Don't think it's a great work, but very cathartic to just apply paint and the brilliant colours,
I'm now catching up on The Voice... How disappointing for half of the people concerned, they will be wiped out either tonight or tomorrow........... how difficult is that?!!
But life is tough! I know how tough it is for me , but I hear of so many people who have difficult times... I feel that when any person has a problem it's 100% their problem.... there aren't gradations of problems . If you have an issue in your life it takes over everything.
The kind way is to recognise this and respect it.
To everyone who has a worry, a problem, I send you Hugs.... we all need them.
HUG ME, I'VE GOT MND
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