Thursday, 31 May 2012


Today my very good friend, fellow artist.......... and actually brilliant artist .. Janice,,,,,,, , came to visit.

We had a great day.
When I first told Janice that I had MND she cried, then asked if she could  paint me... Of course I said Yes Please.

 Janice has such a delicate and sensitive touch with paint, she captures the soul of those she paints.
I am so proud to be her friend and so, so, happy that she wishes to paint my portrait.

So the day was spent chatting, taking photos, and with her sketching me.

The only interruption to the day was a prearranged visit from Becca.. she came and did my nails... so needed ,and so lovely to see her. I did go to Salon Eden where she works, but feel that I can't ask people to help me out for such a frivolous thing...

Mind you is it frivolous?  It is about me being me. So now I have a lovely set of pink sparkly nails.. Thankyou so much Becca if you are reading this.  Thankyou Claire for letting Becca out.

As soon as I am in a proper wheelchair and with my house and car, I'll be able to get out and visit again... Then I can have your lovely facials too..

So  a very happy day.  Tomorrow paperwork, the Todmorden College Open Art Exhibition ...... and Richard to visit on update re Bungalow.. another positive and exciting day in prospect.


Wednesday, 30 May 2012


This morning I had to be up and dressed for Dr Cerys from Sheffield. She is doing research on life activities and the effect on MND. It was  2 hour interview, but as I had remembered meeting her in Sheffield, I realised she was pregnant... so I was anxious that there was no cigarette smoke around. It turns out her baby is due 2 weeks after Christina's ie late Sept.
Anyway prior to the interview I had to fill in a timeline of things that happened work-wise, education, family, health, holidays, pets etc etc... This time line was used ton help with the questions she asked. Though I have never been sporty active , it did come out that I have been an active person... well I hope it happens that this is useful to someone.
After the Dr went ,I had time for a quick cigarette!! Sorry, but a need...
Then Sarah, podiatrist arrived. She made a splint for the toes on my left foot. They are turning under and causing pain. I hope this splint will help.
I decided that I needed a treat lunch ,so baked garlic prawns and had an avocado pear. I was resting, supposedly,    then... but my heart rate kept going up and up. I think it was anxiety about getting out of the house at 3 to get to the hospital for 4 to see my CBT  contact , Christine.
Well I summoned up the energy, one step at a time. Helen and Steve helped me out and I actually got a parking space not far from the psychology dept. I walked very slowly in. Rang the bell... 5 times.. no answer... by this time I was leaning against the wall and about to sink to the floor,,, my legs were so weak. It turns out that all admin staff had to go on a course and the other people in the building should have taken the bell calls... but they didn't .
 Eventually Christine herself appeared and helped me to the office. It was a slow walk. Christine is a climber  and has been to Everest Base camp... this was the same journey for me, ie up the corridor to her office.
We talked about issues for an hour, she then helped me to my car.
Our next appointment will be at my present home. When I get the car and wheelchair I will be able to do these visits myself, but how kind of her to do a home visit.
Actually when things get bad and perhaps I am totally in bed, she has promised to always see me, and to do home visits.

So I got home. But today I have had pain in the front of my right leg. Hope this isn't an indicator of more weakness on the way..... Anyway Steve was looking out and carried stuff from car and then came in to put re-cycling out...
So that is me up to date... going to get dinner now and watch The Apprentice... how dim are some of those youngsters.. I'm sure I could do better at the challenges... but could I work with SIR Alan!!! ???


Tuesday, 29 May 2012

6000 +

Yes 6038 , to be accurate, viewings of my Blog. Don't know quite why, but this makes me happy.
Today was the day to get through paperwork... have I done it... well not really!! But I have: arranged storage men to come; photographer from estate agent; re-posted pics to MNDA; contacted OT re ramp for SAM centre; tried to get help to get out of house for tomorrow ( I have hosp appointment but may not be able to go as no two people to get me out as yet); talked with friend Jacquie, with whom I haven't spoken foir many many years; arranged nails to be done at home; confirmed Janices visit (she is painting my portrait); had a cushion assessment; had physio and met my new OT , Bethan; Oh found out I have to pay £72 to continue web-site... think I'll let it go and just show any new images on this Blog;  and as yet know Ginny will call and Ann will visit...

So... when do I have time to catch up on paperwork???? and manage to be ill... YOU tell me!!!!


Monday, 28 May 2012


I could moan about being exhausted.. but I won't.....!!!!!!

As anyone who has ever moved house, or prepared to move as in my case, you know it's stressful
Add to this buying an adapted car, but unable to procede as license not returned yet... plans for bathroom not sorted,, planning permission now needed for ramp... not being able to get out of house... and having MND...
You might understand why I am tired and sometimes low.

BUT on the bright side, many friends have rallied  round and helped by getting a whole room full of stuff that will go into store to de-clutter the house. ... and today was very special as Janet and Theresa came, sorted and brought a picnic. We had thought we may go out but I simply had no energy to get up steps. So we enjoyed it in style in my garden. When they left I had a 3hr nap on my bed!!!

Picnic in Garden

Friday, 25 May 2012


Today very difficult.. on the verge of tears at every point and turn..
Started with Darren re legal obligations for equity release (99% likely) , then OT , Scott.. he has be so helpful and supportive but is moving to Scotland,,,, I wish him well but will miss him. Then a SAM plus husband, came and sorted one attic bedroom. Then Richard re carpets..( Greyish black throughout, but wine in bedrooms.. )  So through all this I was apparently cool... but actually I'm so very stressed.
 The enormity of  moving, and coping with my lack of mobility is so, so hard.....

I am trying to be strong, and, I guess, present myself as such... but is it wrong to be strong?
 Should I tell it how really,  it is    

 Is it pride that keeps me from doing this... perhaps?...
Actually , to tell you all the truth.. life is hard, it's really , really hard..
 I'm facing so many day to day problems ,and......... death ......soon... not in any way good! 

ps. the format of Blogger seems to have changed , so if I can't use same font etc then I'm sorry,,,,,


Wednesday, 23 May 2012


What will be will be.... a damn hard lesson to get into my thick head!

I am trying to de-clutter my house in the next 10days, send the de-cluttered stuff to store,  then my house will look at its best to go on the market.
But I'm getting stressed.. I keep telling myself ..Calm down, what will be will  be..  But I can't! BUT I MUST !!!!  

It's rather like that game  where you move squares around, up, down and .. eventually... get a whole picture!  I see the whole picture, and want it NOW!!!!!! but must relax to get it sorted.

Stop ranting , live, girl, live! You've got treats.. tonight Pizza, wine friends Christine X2, tomorrow Di, Eileen and Choc Brownies.. Help from kind Samaritans... You are lucky, you will get through...

Then pep talk delivered to self., I remember ............ shelves fell off wall in attic... now covered by book shelf.. I need a plasterer.. will polyfilla do? Who can I ask? And I can't even get there to see it!!!! 

And all this whilst the sun shines, that's where I should be not stressing. Perhaps it's time to take a note book into garden and write it all down.

Yep! Lists are wonderful for clearing the head.. That's what I'll do,  with a cup of Earl Grey... that will be splendid!

Monday, 21 May 2012


My Fiat Qubo is to be Green... but what green? I feared it might be a horrid green nearer to gold... and I don't know... I need the car/van but it's ability to make me independent is what is the priority... So as I drove back through the valley this evening, the sun was shining and there were so many greens.. I have now come to terms that the colour of the car/van will be Ok.. well maybe not my first choice of shade, but sometimes you just have to have different priorities. And thus I accept.
 MND is so horrid, and so many kinds of compromises have to be reached. Colour is so important to me, that is a difficult compromise, but it's gladly one I will be make to be independent.  And who knows the green shade may not be too bad!!

I visited Dr Thomas today, the lung/chest expert.. I have exceptional capacity and strength. This is brilliant, as muscle function around the lungs is so important and weakness will signify a begging of the end.

Also good news re home loan. It seems that it is highly probable that I will get equity release through Calderdale... but even if it doesn't work out I will get a bank loan, and the work on the bungalow will be going ahead.

I also met the toilet man. A bidet toilet that dries and will give me some dignity for as long as possible. The price I thought was £4000 but it actually is £2500 and the MNDA  will possibly help towards  the cost. We'll see.

So all in all a good day.

Except for:


Sunday, 20 May 2012

76 PEOPLE.....

76 People viewed my Blog yesterday, and I didn't write... so sorry.
Yesterday I set my alarm for 8:30 , woke, turned it off, had a little snooze... only the little snooze lasted till 10:45! My friends from The National Coal-mining Museum were due to collect me at 11 to visit the gallery the on to lunch. Well , thank goodness for mobiles, plans changed and they went to the Gallery, bought sandwiches and came back to see me.. Meanwhile I was able to shower and have a coffee.
We had a lovely time chatting, Lisa, Sally-Ann and Sarah... You can see pictures of Lisa and Sarah on the Education pages of the Nat C M Museum web page. We all acted together there and became good mates.
By the time they left I was very tired and was unable to take up offer of film at Hebden Bridge. I was in bed by 9, dozed whilst watching endless CSI films on Ch5 , eventually turned off light at 11.
This morning I woke at 7 and made a cuppa. back to bed. The next thing I knew a txt pinged at 12:40!! 
I think that the stresses of the last few days have meant that I haven't slept enough.. and anxiety re funding for work on Misty Morn should be sorted positively or negatively tomorrow.
Tomorrow I have 5 appointments. Physio at 9:30, a rep from the bidet toilets at 10:30, my OT at 11:30 the leave house at 1:30 to get to Hx for 2:30 to meet Val with whom I used to visit the cells (she is also a minister), then 4:10 appointment with Dr Thomas the breathing expert for results of of all the huffing and puffing tests!
So a busy day.
Today I have caught up on some paperwork and made ever longer lists.Liz visited and brought some brilliant Birthday cake and now I will end this . I'm recording Vera ,love Brenda Blythen, then bed..
As I've said before you have to be fit to be this ill!!!! It is so cruel, and makes you feel utterly exhausted. This makes it hard as you want to enjoy what's left of your life, but you simply can't go at it at max speed!! So Sad.


Friday, 18 May 2012


OK today has been very difficult...far too many issues re finance for housing to go into... but , though I may become a bankrupt... I HAVE to move.
Rebecca came and helped me up steps to go out to Halifax for wheel-chair assessment... I could only do one step without a rest. Yesterday it was two, the day before three... So I feel so trapped.
 For my confidence and safety I need two people to help me out. OR do I get garden kneelers and crawl out?.. Difficult to adjust to, but I could do that  as I'm strong... but how do I get to my feet at the top of the path. 
God this is sh-t!
So as the title says , "I'm still standing",....... but only just.
 HUGS to all my readers X
Not the most perfect recording, but many of us still remember LIVE AID, so I've chosen this one.


Thursday, 17 May 2012


Today I have been in w.chair to rest as much as possible for an outing. I greeted Tesco-man, then showered then man with new phone , then man with another package.. all these on-line visits blur!! Also contacted Innvacare and OT,re possibilities of driving into wet room with chair... Silly me an outdoor/ indoor chair must be able to go out in rain!!! thus it is ok to do drive into bathroom.. Sorted! Yey! Also did tests for myself on door widths with my chair at the moment, and allowing for extra width of new chair... seems a 33" door will be Ok. 
Pat and Steph arrived and we had cuppa then champagne, and decided on a taxi to Hebden.  Why? well much wine ensued!!!
Taxi to Hebden then a great meal at Moyles.. thank you.

Tomorrow I have finance man from Calderdale visiting, then on to wheel chair assessment, then Richard re Bungalow,... then a relaxing evening.... plus many other calls in between...

MND is so tiring. I should be saving my energy for lovely things... but it's just not possible at the moment. I feel that if I'm not pro-active things will take too long to be in place... thank you to friends who now help me out of my home  ie up the steps...... I couldn't do without you.

You know with MND, almost every day is like a Hard Days Night... but we keep going... HUGS x


Wednesday, 16 May 2012


On BBC ! tonight a program DIY SOS .. sorted a out a home for a guy with MND... do watch on iplayer if you missed it. It gives an idea of what our needs are.

I did a Samaritan duty today.. but had to crawl in to building, steps impossible... is this the end of 13 yrs of Sams?  Thinking about this tonight, a bit sad....


Tuesday, 15 May 2012


Two more places that I got stuck today.. and this is not another toilet story!!
I parked at Lidl ,over the way from the Salon Eden, where I have treat each week. This week a pedicure including a leg leg massage. This is with the Brilliant , kind  Becca. I had my treat but when getting back in the car, the steering was locked. I realised that when getting out ,I had had to use the steering wheel as a support and thus had locked it. Didn't know how to unlock... so with the prospect of Lidl fining me me for too long a stay, I had to get out the Nissan Book, wade through, until I found the page to learn how to unlock steering. Sorted , eventually , I got the car started.!

Next stuck moment. I had to go to Morrisons to get pics for new driving license...( must be done asap or I will loose license, also have to agree to assessment each 3 months... no prob with this ,as I should have adapted car very soon)... So got into seat for photo. Had to adjust seat to eye level... could Not get up!! Called to person ,who kindly got a member of staff. She not only got me up and out, adjusted seat and then waited for me to finish getting pics, then got me out again! I said .. do say how wonderful you have been to your supervisor, and thankyou so very much for your help and kindness. She said , I am the supervisor! So I said, do say thank you to yourself.!!!!

How kind people are. I had not realised how wonderful people are and how difficult things are when you have a disability.For instance: I can't cross a road in the time a light allows you. I always wave and say thanks to drivers who wait. And no-one has ever been cross of agitated... thankyou so much to everyone who is so kind.
Kindness is so necessary to people with disabilities, and makes living with such difficulties possible. Without such kindness from people I will never ever know, I don't think life would be possible.
There are those close to me, who help so much, and I truly thank you so much, but the kindness of strangers is amazing and, actually so unexpected and so necessary.

We, people with MND, are struggling and it is the whole world of kindness that makes life bearable and possible.

Today I have had  come to terms with the fact that I need to use a wheelchair in the house and that I can't get out of the house without help. Big Big steps to take on emotionally, as I'm sure you will understand.

I've had a great evening with Tony, an ex colleague, but today has been very very hard,and despite the ups ....the downs are hard to come to terms with.


Monday, 14 May 2012


Today i have been so happy in so many ways/ I found out that my friend Liz sold her cakes at her school. making more money for MNDA.. Total now £420. 63,,, wow how brilliant is this.
I rang wheelchair services, they had promised a soon appointment for outdoor/indoor chair... but time has passed and no appointment. So when I rang and was offered mid June appointment, this  I queried... Then they found an appointment next Friday, as I am a priority... YEY.
Really great news ... a Fiat Qubo(WAV)  will become available soon. It's second hand, but through the Motability scheme and thus only takes my DLA Motability component plus about £3500... . The car will allow me to drive from wheelchair,  with hand operated acceleration and brake will enable me to drive for as long as I can. It will probably be green... not brilliant, but at least not yellow or gold, which I simply couldn't cope with.  Colour is really important in my life.

The sad bit in this Blog, is that I have, for the first time, had to rely on indoor wheelchair  as my legs are so so weak.

But, I guess, that's  MND for you!.


Sunday, 13 May 2012


Today I held a fundraiser for the MND Association. It was at the Platform Gallery, Todmorden. So many people came, so many friends helped. I am so, so so, grateful and best of all we raised £406.13 !  

I am so happy, but so very tired. This has been an exhausting week for me. First 3 days in Sheffield Hospital under Prof Shaw, then getting this together.

I feel as if I will sleep for a week!! If you have MND , you will surely understand.

ps as well as all the people that did help I wish to thank all the people, including my family, who couldn't attend , but sent their best wishes for a good afternoon.. It certainly was!



Meggie is my lovely cat... but she is walking all over my lap as I write. Thus this may well be shorter than planned!!
This Blog should have been called "getting ready"  ie for tomorrow and the MND fundraiser.

Quickly..... Meggie moved away, tuna called!!!!
I have made more bags. Bags show images of my paintings. People have an alternative way of having an individual item..... 10% of the profit from any of my work  sold tomorrow will be donated to MND.

  • Ann Priestley came along today and iced the sponge cakes I had made. We had a great laugh. Ann is a self-admitted non -cook!!! She, and the kitchen looked like they had been in a violent snow-storm by the time the cakes were finished... a snow-storm of icing sugar!
  • Steven and Helen came in with cups and a large teapot... we finished off rather a lot of wine too!!
  • I've made labels and think I have done all I can tonight... need some sleep.

Perhaps Meggie will calm down and take up her usual spot on the end of my bed!!

Enjoy the Cookie Monster.. Hope lots of people come to eat cake and donate to MND tomorrow!


Friday, 11 May 2012


Sorry for the few days gap. I've been in hospital at Sheffield.
 Prof  Pam Shaw is an expert in MND and I was there to undertake her protocol for testing MND.
What tests didn't I have?   Can't imagine.
Had CT scan, MRI, Lumbar puncture, 21 different vials of blood; electo myo-cardiogram (sp?), X Rays, filled in questionnaires, talked with students, ....... It was all so professional, so kindly and I felt so safe.
Got back home this afternoon,....... will have to go back for full results in one month.
Now busy with planning for MND fundraiser on Sunday at the Platform Gallery , Todmorden...... think all is is place,,, except I've forgotten to order milk.. easily sorted will get Sunday morning..

Thanks for reading over 5000 hits as of today.

Off to bed now, need rest.


Tuesday, 8 May 2012


This morning began with visit from lovely Michaela, my physio. She manipulated my shoulders and back to give respite from the tensness in the muscles... due to the difficulty in balancing. But since then I have had a headache... Hope it will go after a v good sleep;

 Then a meeting with Davis re Equity release on this house to pay for the adaptations for the bathroom in the new bungalow. I though he would be giving me an answer today but no, his paper work has to go to a review board and he will let me know what's possible. If I can't get equity release then I think I will sell and invest the moneyt, that should cover the rent of the bungalow.... just a wait and see job.... an meanwhile my life ticks away... but I am enjoying ice-cream as I write this so all not wrong with the world.

 and finally Ahhhh... a facial....... so relaxing   Brilliant

Must now pack for hospital tomorrow.... don't know if there will be a Blog till Sat ... will use my iPad if I can.


Monday, 7 May 2012


Today has been slow for me... Didn't sleep at all well last night. BUT I had to bake today, Freeze cakes ready to ice next Sat... for MND Fundraiser on Sun.

My legs are sooo weak today. I tried being in wheel chair... too low. I tried using perching chair, inflexible and too high, I tried resting against the Zimmer.... and found...... the most efficient, yet tiring was leaning and lurching against work surfaces! 
So 5 sponge cakes made. 4 for Sun. The fifth is in the bin. I baked it and it really looked weird... it was then that I found the other two eggs that should have been used !!! OK 80% I can live with.... but it does grieve me that I have had to chuck out good ingredients...

So a song to end... the link being "So High I can't Get Over It"   ie the work surface from a wheelchair!! Never mind Just Rock My Soul  !


Sunday, 6 May 2012


You didn't really expect me to Blog yesterday, did you?

I had a day soooooo full! Chrissie and Andy were here. They shifted furniture with Rach, to allow me room to use my new wheel chair. (I've been practising my hand brake turns, getting good!!!). We visited the bungalow, and they gave it their seal of approval. Liz joined us so most of the important people in my life have now visited, and given approval!

BUT (after super lunch at The Olive Branch, Hebden Bridge)... it was time to go to Gallery and set up bar, nibbles etc for launch party of a-MAY-zing.

 And what a night! It truly was amazing. So many people came. Thankyou all for your support. I sold a number of paintings and loads of bags... have just done a re-order a for the MND Fundraiser which takes place next Sunday, May 13th.

There is so much I could write about yesterday, I felt such pride in my achievement, but having drunk very good wine till the early hours, quite frankly, I'm exhausted.

So don't forget:.................


Friday, 4 May 2012


This has been a difficult day, but will end happily as Chrissie and Andy are en route for the weekend, for the opening of   a-MAY-zing!  Rach, Chrissies room-mate at uni will also be coming tomorrow. YEY!!

The downs, it seems that Calderdale will fund the adaptations to the new bungalow.. as long as I put my house on the market. So I contacted a financial adviser and have arranged a meeting to get Equity release on this house.
Scott my OT visited and paid me a compliment, I think, that I am very proactive in getting stuff sorted, most people sit back and wait. But I want to live until I die!  

Good news form WAV provider they can get a lock down device designed for the Dragon wheelchair. So I shall have  test drive in a WAV, a Peugeot Impulse. Its a van really I can have black or dark blue... my choice is dark blue.

Good news from OT, the rise and recline chair is soooo useful, but not too comfortable. I can have one specially made for my needs... and no means test!!

Difficult:I got a letter from the DVLA. I may only drive until the end of May. I have to fill in a form to drive after that date and have to be assessed ever 3 months.So it is imperative that I get a suitable car pdq!!

Chrissie has just rung, just 30mins away. I shall carry on printing my bags till they come then wine and Pizza!!


Thursday, 3 May 2012


On the news tonight , people who have become blind with retinitus pigmentosa 
(like both my mum and dad)  have had electronic implants which allows then to see, and before they were completely blind.!
 So, it is worth being a guinea pig, how else will progress on cures for  illnesses , be made. 
With this in mind, I have the exhibition this weekend  ,(and Chrissie and Andy coming to stay and help with the serving of wine etc...) then a day of baking on Monday ( for the fundraiser on Sun 13th), and on Wednesday into Sheffield hosp to have complete tests for MND and thus progress to help with clinical research.

My super duper Zimmer came today, and I celebrated by going to Halifax and to M&S to get some jeans. I did wander around too much, and so tired myself that when I had to lift Zimmer back in to car, it was too difficult to manage. Asked for help from a passing man. He offered willingly. Thankyou. . I am so gratified by all the help that the general public give. People are sOoooooo  wonderful.



Have spent today printing bags for the   a-MAY-zing  exhibition which opens tomorrow.. Many thanks to Elsa who bought and delivered a yellow cartridge for my printer. ( None in Tod!)
Some of the pictures you will see if you visit:

The Scream is up for auction, expected to reach many millions of pounds..... most of my pictures are under £100 !  BUT in the future, what will they be worth!!!!


Wednesday, 2 May 2012


I said to a number of people:... You have to be intelligent and strong

... to be this ill!!!

I have written, printed and mounted the rest of the labels for the a-MAY-zing exhibition... 
Had my nails done ( a black with sparkle, is this a mistake?)
Entertained a friend..... 

BUT most of my time was spent on emails and phone calls. So just to give you a taste of how manic it can be to try to get your home and car sorted, as suitable for someone with MND, here is a run down of my day as apart from the things above.....

  • Called Allied Mobility, found I could have a Peugeot Impulse, £10,395   Blue. BUT would Innvacare Dragon chair fit in?
  • Contact OT re referral for accessible home.. Out of office , left message.
  • 10:15 Indoor wheelchair arrives. Man on his own. Wish I could have helped him down steps, sadly impossible.
  • Ring Gateway to care to ask for PA. Have been asured by psychiatrist that I can self refer for this service.  Not known. Will confer and call back.
  • Ring wheelchair people. Is the Dragon the one I will have ( this is what they have said, but need to confirm for fitting in car) Result. They need an assessment, probably next week. ( I'm in hospital then) But they will lend chair to garage to fit in car... if it is possible..
  • Still waiting to see if dragon fits in....
  • Stannah stair lift man arrives. Intermittent fault on switch?  He thinks not , but my hands!  (I get stuck halfway up the stairs!!). Sod my hands!!!
  • Speak to Motability. refused grant again. But helped to find other car providers. .. Actually was transferred 4 times on this call. Ended up that Thersa will ring back. She did and thats when I got info on car possibility.
  • Contact Ebay.. bags to print for exhibition not yet arrived... email only method of contact ( are they hiding).
  • Ring GM Coachwork recar.... Dave will call back.
  • Send txt to two missed out friends re exhibition...
  • Ring Sirus automotive. Possible Fiat that I could drive from whell chaior. £8.995 but £1.495 to put locking for chair in... though later on they felt they could do a deal on this. Car/van is black.
  • Richard rings re wattage of fire for bungalow. 
  • Gm Coachwork ring back, it's not Dave it's Mark. They have two suitable cars £13k and £16 K. I said thankyou, but no way.
  • OT rings back to confirm she has hand delivered  the referral.
  • Email sent to Accessible homes to ask if equity release possible and if so at what percentage.
  • Gateway to care ring back and offer me, not a PA, but some boxes to pack up belongings in!! 
  • Gateway rang to say they didn't provide a PA but  I should contact SCOPE.
  • Dentists rang , could I call in to do paperwork or should they send it. SEND IT PLEASE!!!
  • Get email from Calderdale to say that my email( asking for details re necessary adaptations, and giving a time for this to be received by me,)..... is being logged as a complaint. I have been moved on to another manager.
  • I respond that I wasn't making a complaint merely seeking a resolution quickly and an acknowledgement that time is of the essence. ( Bearing in mind the first referral was made on Feb 17th!!)

So , as you can see I am not idle. But neither do I have any confirmed results on house or car.... 
OK. Tomorrow is another day... and , believe it or not, today was typical. 
and.....All I want to do is to enjoy the time I have.......