MARILYN

At 9:00 I saw a txt from a friend.(I  had been asleep in chair for a while). I responded that I was going to bed now,,,,, but. 
Today has not been good.. feeling very weary, but more worryingly , my hands are throbbing and aching. Do hope it's not the start of lack of their use. I will stick to the hope that it's because I have to drag my-self upstairs and rely on my stick to steady me at all times. 


On Monday engineers arrive to put in the electrics for my Stannah stair-lift. I can't quite get my head around the fact that I will be so pleased to have a stair-lift. The speed at which this is progressing is frightening... and I so want to be the statistically (less than 5%)  people who live longer than 3- 5yrs.  But tonight it feels that maybe hoping isn't enough , the progress of the illness marches on and on and on........... so sad.


So anyway, having felt so exhausted  I thought another glass of wine then bed. The wine  perked me up somewhat, and I now find myself watching Marylin at 11:30.


My memories of her go back to my first Girl Guide camp. It was at Horner Water , Minehead , Somerset.. The year  she died. That day my Mum and Dad visited me in camp.
So, two memories: 
My initials are NW and some clown put "IT" after each initial in my Wellies... so I came to be known as Nit Wit Woodman... this nick-name lasted for many, many years. 
My second memory of that camp was that I was constipated. I was told to have a "swig" of syrup of Figs.... Having newly arrived from Miami, I had no idea what "swig" meant. I drank a VERY good draft of the liquid. Then spent many hours tregging back and forth to the "lats" . ( a trench)...
So those are the memories Marilyn evokes. She is so beautiful, 
To this day, "Some Like It Hot", is my favourite all-time, film.
What a beautiful; woman . and yet so damaged. I would live to be as beautiful, sensuous, and lovely as she was... but poor damaged lady... you wouldn't wish those stresses on any-one.


I have an illness, but don't believe I have the fears that, that poor woman lived with. I have much to live for, much still to strive for..... and I will. 


My fear is that when most of my body is in paralysis , you might all reject me. 


It will be frightening, and difficult , for you; but actually more frightening for me. That's why my Blog is called Hug Me etc... 
I so need your help and support now,..... but really, really hope I can rely on you in the future. 


I hope you will be there to Hug Me. and I'll do my very best to hug you back.. Thankyou.

HUG ME , I'VE GOT MND...