100 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE.....?

I guess we've all heard of this book ,or similar ones... 100 things to do before you're 50 etc..
My thoughts today have been slightly centred around this theme. 
What the hell are my ambitions before I die. Gloomy thoughts, I know. I keep thinking there are things I should want to do.. but I can't ,for the life of me, think what they are. Yes I want to go to the Bahamas, but I had planned to go there this year ,anyway ..I would love my family to go with me, but I can't afford to take them, and because of their positions with little ones I guess they can't go, anyway. 
Scott visited today. I am having an assessment for:  a phone , which will alert when I fall; I was offered help to get me breakfast ( I declined) ;I am to have an air pillow which will help my position, to help breathing, (if I don't move up and down my muscles become weak and I cough, to get enough air); I am to talk to the wheel chair people; and finally he gave me the contact number for car assessment needs.... all of this to manage... and I heard the Rolling Stones are to have a 50th yr anniversary concert.. I'm just too tired to look at their web site. I'm too tired to have ambitions other than to cope with all I have to cope with... and simply don't have time for extras.How sad is this.
So I guess, when push comes to shove, this illness has taken away my energy, not my spirit, and the reality of all this is that I only seem to have energy to cope with immediate needs. This makes me sad, I feel I was formerly a person who took on challenges, filled every hour and lived life to a million per-cent. Now I'm left coping as best I can.. BUT, I do hope I'm still doing this to a million per-cent of my ability..
..... in which case I guess I'm still a person, and still successful.... though it doesn't feel like it always.
Sorry this has a miserable tone, but it's where I'm at today.
Good things to look forward to,... a meal with friends and planning of exhibition tomorrow .....and film with Tom on Friday.
.......... so need to give myself a shake.. after a sleep all will be well.. these down days aren't every day... but as this is a diary it wouldn't be fair not to include them, though I am loath to do so. 
My aim is to write about the reality of my experience of MND... so here you have it... Hope we all sleep well and wake up to a bright new Friday. X

HUG ME, I'VE GOT MND